Parody: Hood River brewery, Double Mountain Brewery and Cidery, announces the "Infinite Pint" glassware.
image courtesy Double Mountain Brewery and Cidery
Update: We’ve updated the title to be more transparent on the intent of the article. Also, we want to state here; the article was a parody for the sake of April 1st. A date commonly known as April Fools' Day.
Press Release
Double Mountain, known for its balanced hoppy beers and creative spirit, is proud to finally announce its latest breakthrough in beer technology: the “Infinite Pint” glassware.
This glass is set to revolutionize the craft beer drinking industry, and Double Mountain is excited to share this breakthrough with all of you. Invented from space-age polymers and embedded with nanotechnology, the Infinite Pint promises an endless stream of beer with just a single pour.
“We’re thrilled to introduce the Infinite Pint to the world,” said Matt Swihart, Co-founder and Brewmaster of Double Mountain. “It’s the culmination of years of research and development, and we believe it will change the way people enjoy their favorite brews forever.”
You may be asking; ‘how does the Infinite Pint work?’ Well, through a patented quantum displacement mechanism, the glassware creates a temporary wormhole within its structure, allowing beer to flow continuously without ever depleting the volume.
It’s the perfect solution for those who never want to see their beer supply dwindle.
The Infinite Pint also features customizable flavor profiles. Using an app downloaded to your smartphone, users of the Infinite Pint can adjust the taste of their beer on the fly, from hoppy to malty to fruity. It’s like having a personal brewmaster that caters to your own personal taste buds in the palm of your hand.
The Infinite Pint will be available for purchase exclusively at all Double Mountain Taprooms starting April 1, 2024. For those interested in securing their own piece of beer-drinking history, act fast - supplies are limited.
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ABOUT DOUBLE MOUNTAIN BREWERY & CIDERY
Double Mountain is a Brewery & Cidery based in Hood River, Oregon that extends a warm welcome to all. Our brewery in Hood River boasts our original taproom where you can experience the heart of our craft. We have two additional taprooms in Portland, located in the Woodstock and Overlook neighborhoods, and a kitchen at the Aladdin theater, open during showtimes. We strive to create a living room atmosphere, where we spin vinyl, offer weekly free live music, and host trivia nights. Our food philosophy revolves around sharing moments with friends. We offer various New Haven-style pizzas, sandwiches, salads, and an array of other dishes that proudly steer clear of the fryer.We take pride in our hop-forward beers, crisp unsweetened dry-ciders, and house-made n/a root beer and ginger ale. We hope you’ll stop by and share a pint with us!
Double Mountain may be found on tap and in bottles throughout the Pacific Northwest
